If you’re an idealist like most seminarians--inspired by preaching classes and dreams of the day you’ll shake up a spiritually stagnant church, there’s a message you still need to hear. Heidi Husted, author and pastor of Columbia Presbyterian Church in Vancouver, Washington, and someone who knows about the realities of churches, warns: Get involved in the local church before you leave seminary and learn what congregations are really like. They just might not be what you expect.

The local church is like a black hole, and you’re going to get sucked into this incredible mess of relationships, dynamics, and needs. This is the biggest challenge you are going to face as a pastor, and you can’t take a class on the topic.

When I was in seminary, we talked about The Church—the global Church—but not the local church. Seminary didn’t prepare me for pettiness, the lack of mission focus, and their resistance to change. Churches say, “We want to grow,” but churches really don’t want to grow, because they don’t want to change. Typical congregations abhor change. They don’t think they do, but they do.

Nothing in seminary could have prepared me for the resistance I faced when I walked into my third call, the one I’m in now. They had the same pastor for 31 years. I thought I’d just jump in, preach faithfully, and lead as I thought Christ would have me lead. But people said, “Wow. Who’s she? She’s messing with our church.” They weren’t open to change.

The blessings of a shattered image
It is hard to prepare in seminary classes alone for the pain ministry inflicts. The best thing seminaries can do is to offer a congregation-based seminary experience. The real classroom is the local church. Seminarians need to become deeply involved in a real congregation and get to know what that is like.

When you begin to work with that church, ask the pastor to really let you see its underside. When you see the dark underside, this will begin to prepare you for true ministry.

Beyond learning about the real church, this exposure allows you to learn about yourself—before you are saddled with the responsibility of a congregation of your own. A lot of us jumped into ministry because we have issues we need to work out in our lives, not the least of which is, Am I loved? Many people believe getting involved in ministry will fill this desire. But I’m telling you, if you want to be loved, being in the ministry is the last place you should be. So, find out now who you are and what the church is really like. Get your own psychology figured out.

Also, develop a phenomenal sense of your own boundaries. It took me ten years to do that. I went into my first ministry, a college ministry, and didn’t know where I began and ministry stopped. It took years of counseling, support groups, and conferences to get a sense of life apart from the church. Now I am better at drawing lines, and we are all the better for it.

The church is broken—just like you and me. But if you start facing your family’s foibles now, your ministry will start out as truly honest, and rooted in the Cross.

”What has God uniquely made me to do?”

We all wait to in anticipation of how God will reveal his specific purpose for our lives. But once we hear the call, that by itself isn't enough. We're not in ministry alone.

In a recent interview with Ministry Mentor, Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington, and author of Radical Reformission: Reaching Out Without Selling Out, offers wisdom on discerning your call and why we need to be part of a team to carry it out.

How do you define “calling”?
Every Christian receives two callings. The first is a calling to be reconciled to God the Father through God the Son by God the Spirit. The second is a calling to service for the benefit of a local community. This happens when a person is reconciled to the church as well as to God. It can come through God's voice, a dream, Scripture, a deep burden, or simply an obvious need that presents itself.

What if I believe I feel called to ministry but still feel unsure?
Check the qualifications of church leaders in First Timothy 3 and Titus 1. Scripture says a leader "must live a blameless life because he is God’s minister" (Titus 1:7 NLT). Do you exhibit self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation? Do you enjoy having guests in your home? Are you able to teach? Are you gentle, peace loving, and free from the love of money? Do you manage your family well, and are you faithful to your wife? Do you "have a strong and steadfast belief in the message [you] were taught"? (Titus 1:9 NLT). Second, study Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, 1 and 2 Timothy, and Titus—books intended to pass wisdom on to young emerging leaders.

It is also valuable to ask the godliest people in your life if they see your call and also what work you need to do to effectively serve God. Submit yourself to the leadership of someone who is doing what is on your heart to do, and learn by shadowing them and being mentored by them.

Who do you read on the call of God?
I love to read biographies of people who did what I feel called to do. Seeing God's hand through the life of a faithful servant from beginning to end is an insightful exercise. I am enthralled with Baptist reformed preacher Charles Spurgeon and have read everything I can find on his life. It has been like having an experienced mentor.

What if I realize I haven’t been called?
Be willing to accept the fact that all of life is sacred. If you end up a plumber and not a preacher, you are still a called person on mission for God, just as Jesus spent some 90 percent of his life swinging a hammer to the glory of God the Father.

How does community shape one's call?
The community of the local church and its leaders help affirm one's calling and the timing of one's service. Second, it is important for an emerging leader to be in a community that gives permission, training, and rebuke, to develop leaders. Third, a called leader must determine the community that God has called them to serve, which includes such things as where they will live and whom they will give their life to.

How has community confirmed your calling?
Because I fit at Mars Hill and things are going well, I know God has called me here. My humor, peculiarities, and eccentricities work here in Seattle and would not work elsewhere. I love the people whom I pastor very deeply and would not want to pastor another group of people.

By working in this church, I have seen myself in comparison to my brothers and sisters, and this has clarified what I was made to do—and not made to do. It is important to note that God calls many people together as a ministry team. The team makes each person better and helps them distinguish what their contribution to the team is.

No one is simply called to ministry. We’re called to a community of people (leaders) who serve a community of people (the church) who serve a community of people (the lost world) who need the people Jesus has called and connected to bring them good news.

In this way, the call ultimately is less about our individual successes and more about God's love going through the church community in word and deed to those He is seeking as worshippers.

He Said
From the moment I met Jesus I distinctly heard Him call, “Follow Me!” In the years before seminary I had a burning passion for God’s Word and for Jesus himself. I actually was hesitant to go to seminary because I didn’t want to lose that simple mindset. But my wife and I agreed it was wise preparation for a lifetime of ministry.

During my first semester I was unexpectedly unemployed. A father and husband, the financial strains of school quickly manifested. We sold our new car and moved into a tiny apartment. Immediately, I knew this program was going to take a toll on my family and relationship with God. As homework replaced my quiet times, I couldn’t focus during conversations with Michele, I became impatient with my children, and I exploded in anger at work. A heavy fog settled over my perception of God’s will.

So I stopped, prayed, and offered to give up seminary if I couldn’t do it right.

Well, not exactly. Actually, I buckled down and committed to staying the course—no matter what. This posture of self-sufficiency brought awkward living situations, debt, doubt, and discouragement. Worst of all, the focus and energy required to succeed left me emotionally removed from Christ and from my wife and children.

But by His grace, I experienced Jesus the Vinedresser. While I thought I was humble, Jesus began to reveal my pride. My reactions revealed anger; my priorities revealed selfishness. I received my A’s, but I lost my joy. And I required my wife to exhibit spiritual maturity greater than my own.

I began to question whether I should be in ministry at all. While I once thought an intimate walk with Christ and a healthy marriage was easy, I began to doubt if I had what it takes. I wasn’t half the husband I thought I would be, and life as a disciple wasn’t anything like I had expected.

At this point, I read Matthew 8:18-20. Here Jesus exposed false assumptions—and subtle pride—in his disciple’s heart. Jesus narrowed everything down to Himself and the disciple’s relationship with Him. I was like the disciple who said, "'Teacher I will follow you no matter where you go’" (Matthew 8:20 NLT). But He revealed my inadequacy, and He has taught me to trust Him and invest in the basics.

I finally have slowed down and enjoy walking with Christ. My wife and my sons are not merely worth the world to me—they are the world to me. And I know for certain that in being with Him and in truly loving those around me, I am not neglecting real ministry but doing real ministry. And, as a bonus, I am happy again.

She Said
The last three years have been the most challenging yet richest of my life. Now that Chris is six months shy of graduation, we see all God has done to prepare us for a life of ministry.

We have been challenged in every aspect of our lives. We have lived on $30 dollars a week and had a budget that never added up. At times we’ve said hardly more than “Hello” to each other. I’ve heard a lot of “Where’s Daddy?” We’ve seen the worst in ourselves and wondered how we could ever be useful. It has been a time where we have become poor: in money, spirit, strength, attitude, and love.

As a seminarians’ wife I have been personally challenged to honor and respect my husband, especially when I don’t have that “extra hand” around the house. Or when I feel overlooked or like I’m talking into preoccupied eyes. I have been refined many times, allowing resentment to build and then being brought back to my calling to forgive and honor Chris unconditionally as to the Lord. When I am obedient in this, our limited time together is rich.

As a mother you can only hope your children will be connected with your husband despite his heavy load. Some say children won’t remember those early years. I tend to worry about this at times when they don’t get to experience their daddy for a few days. However, I have learned to step back, not whisper so many reminders to Chris, and trust him to lead.

During these tough times, Chris and I kept a family journal. Many entries have informal titles to our days, such as “You are Faithful,” “Treasures in Heaven,” “Humble Yourself,” “You are our strength,” “You provided,” “Grace-even when we are not faithful,” “Respect your husband in everything.”

These “ trials” forced us to rely on the Lord unlike any other time in our lives. We have been brought to our knees for basic needs, a minivan, joy, strength, and grace on our children—which He has given us time after time. We are speechless before a loving Father who forgives us and satisfies our deepest longings.